Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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