We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
