I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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