I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
