just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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