new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize