Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
