I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
