Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize