he thought i was a dude.
Fuck appropriateness.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
