who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
