i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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