So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
