Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
