Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
