Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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