she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just puked most of my soul out..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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