dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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