You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
