We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize