Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
