Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
