There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
