So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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