I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
