you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
