It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Never let your siblings swipe right.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize