Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
