Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize