Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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