I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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