Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
