if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
