Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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