my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
