Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have fence marks all over my body
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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