Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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