He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize