So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
