i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
