Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
