Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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