Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
