Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
