Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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