Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
