i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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