Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
