You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
