Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
