um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
