2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
