it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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