you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
