What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
