I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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